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Musings From The Bathtub

And it begins. Welcome to my little oasis of contemplation, poetry, discoveries, and more.


Here I intend to share my thoughts, experiences, and create a space where we can feel more intimate with one another—distance aside. You’ll be hearing from me every Sunday, unless I’m being whisked away.

As I’m lounging in the bath, bubbles all around me with a face mask on, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. It’s a walk uphill every day reminding myself that 1. Yes, we’re still in a pandemic 2. It’s okay to be gentle with yourself and do much, much less than what you’re used to. Ten months in, you’d think I would’ve mastered this. But every day has proven to be exactly the same as the last. Don’t confuse that statement with monotony. It‘s just each day has the same overtone, that nothing is the same. I’m sharing this in hopes that this will be something you can relate to. I find it comforting when I can relate to others. I miss being able to create connections in the way we’ve all known—face to face. I miss going on weekend trips with lovers and taking bubble baths together. Sharing glances while we read on the hotel terrace. Making eye contact from across the dinner table while we play with each other’s feet underneath. More than all of this, I’m hopeful for the days where we get to live out all the dreams we’ve been envisioning while inside our homes, keeping distance.


As January comes to a close, we creep up on the one year anniversary since lockdown. I know that we’re not totally out of the dark yet. However, I can’t help but get excited for what this year may have in store, even if it’s not what we imagine. I’m finding joy in allowing the future to be more mysterious than it ever has. How cool will it be to be surprised by the unexpected? To step back, let go and say “You know what? Fuck it. I can only focus on what I can control and right now that’s keeping myself and everyone around me safe.” I hope if anything this time has taught us how much we need one another and how much we have to offer one another, too. In the meantime, I look forward to each day that I get to spend with a lover or a friend. It helps me feel a little bit closer to the world I want to be in again.


I promise I’ll have a more lighthearted topic next week. Although, I think it’s important to share these vulnerabilities with one another however we can. Right now, I suppose that’s blogging about it naked in the bath during a global pandemic.


Until next Sunday, stay safe & stay warm! And if you’re in a warmer climate than my 10 degree Chicago snowstorm, I’m extremely envious.


bisous bisous,


Bella


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